What If
by ClumsyMustache
Summary: Because her life would always be a big 'what if'.


**{**_**You ripped me into pieces so small. I wasn't sure I still existed**_**}**

"I have to tell you something," Natsu whispers quietly, a light blush dashed onto his cheeks. His palms sweaty and his mouth dry.

"What is it?" Lucy asks innocently, curious as to what was wrong with her friend.

He hesitates for a moment-should he tell her? Will she take it well?

Probably not.

"I'll tell you...tomorrow." He decides. Lucy groans loudly, annoyance clear on her face.

"Why would you tell me that if you won't even tell me? Now I'll stay up all night!" She whines. Natsu grins cheekily in response and can't help but notice how cute she is.

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Luce." He winks, turning around. She stops herself at the last minute from calling out to him, telling him to wait. She'll tell him tomorrow.

She'll confess tomorrow.

"Bye!" She calls instead, waving. He waves back without even looking over his shoulder, a drizzle soon starting up. She watches worriedly, scared he might catch a cold. Not that he would care.

She turns around and opens the door, walking into the small living room with a content sigh. She slips off her backpack and trudges to her room, humming softly to herself.

* * *

The next day she wakes up, turning on the small TV in the kitchen as she eats cereal.

_Last night, a reported car accident leaves one killed._

Lucy instantly turns up the volume, pity settling in her stomach. She felt bad for the loved ones and for the victim, having to go through all of that.

_Yes, Natsu Dragneel; age 17 occupation student, found dead at site. _

And suddenly her own world is crashing down, leaving her with nothing but a cold heart.

* * *

She arrives at the Dragneel's home, the other cars blocking up the streets. She doesn't mind though, she can't drive anymore. She walks slowly into the house, making sure her hand scuttles across every surface. She breaths in the scent, the smell of Natsu so evident in the air.

She walks into the living room, and low and behold is a picture of Natsu. A small service as loved ones gather around, some crying. She just stares at them all emotionlessly, barely recognizing any of them.

"Hey Luce, glad you could make it." Natsu grins from the couch, and she knows a smile won't tug onto her lips.

"You okay, Luce?" Natsu asks in concern, walking towards her. He takes her hand and she quickly jerks away, lowering her head.

"Lucy?" Natsu asks worriedly, pulling her head gently so she looks him in the eye.

"Stop." She whispers so quietly she barely hears it herself. Her voice is choked and she's barely holding herself together.

"I don't understand." He says in shock, not understanding her words. She trembles slightly, fists clenched.

"You aren't Natsu." Lucy says coldly, looking away once more. She can't bear looking at him anymore.

"What? I am Natsu!" Natsu grins his own grin, and she finally breaks down.

"No! Get out of my head! Get out get out get out!" She screams repeatedly, going on a rampage. Her father rushes over, quietly edging her to the floor, holding her in his arms as she has her attack. She calms down after a while, causing more people to weep.

And when she looks back up, he's gone.

Forever.

* * *

She shuffles through his desk, looking for something-_anything._

How could he have died like that? Such a cruel way to end one's life. He was the light of her life, and with him gone she was nothing.

He had to have left something for her.

She messes up his already messy desk, searching desperately. She finally finds a small, simple envelope. She opens it and finds a notebook piece of paper.

She eagerly opens the small note, only to find a simple word.

_Lucy_

It was dated the day before his death.

Her birthday.

She finds herself sobbing on his floor. She lays her head down on the floor, breathing in all the scents. She suddenly feels a desire to be as close as possible to him, rushing onto his bed. She brings his pillow to her chest, slowly crying into it.

Her life would always be a big 'what if'.

_And she resulted back to what she had been born with._

_Nothing._


End file.
